No matter how conscientious a father you are, you’ll still trip up on occasion: Reacting a bit too slowly, answering a bit too vaguely or remaining in the thrall of Monday Night Football while your wife asks whether the baby has been changed. Being able to step back and appreciate Mommy’s perspective can make decisions easier, situations less tense and your overall relationship stronger.

Here are 7 common issues that cause stress between new mommies and daddies and some tips for getting on the right page: hers.

1. Playing the Fool. Perhaps because they’re more able to hurl 30-pound toddlers in the air, or perhaps because they default into the role as an alternative to being serious, fathers more naturally assume the "clown" character, often provoking the ire of partners trying to focus on discipline, routine and education.

Try balancing fun with teaching. For example, award one airplane ride for each complete run through of the ABCs, or explain different body parts while administering merciless tickling.

2. Bending the Rules. Often, you’ll let your son or daughter watch one extra video, have one additional story or eat one more cookie, thinking it’s harmless. But children need – and want – rules.

Mothers understand this better than anyone or at least better than fathers. This is probably because they’re the ones who typically suffer the consequences of dear-old Dad encouraging the little ones to see how much they can get away with before heading off to work, leaving Mom to fend for herself. Read books and visit Web sites to build your knowledge of the benefits of boundaries, then earn both your child’s and your partner’s respect by enforcing discipline in the right ways and for the right reasons.

3. Pushing the Milestones. Mothers want their babies to stay babies forever. (Reflect for a moment on the wistful manner in which your mother gazes at you or those lingering hugs she gives, and you’ll understand.) Fathers, on the other hand, look forward to seeing their children conquer the world one growth stage at a time.

On your son’s first birthday, when your partner starts lamenting the fact that he’s growing up too fast, try to resist the typical male reactions: saying it’s a good thing in the long run; telling her she might as well celebrate it because she can’t stop it; or, worst of all, asking her what the heck she’s talking about. What she needs to hear is that you empathize with her. After letting her know you find her feelings perfectly valid and acceptable, assure her that children always need their mommies.

4. Ignoring the Mess. Men generally consider "clean" to mean no dirty underwear hanging on the shower rail. However, women typically find the house a sty if a stray dust speck is found floating out the back door.

Few things will earn you more points – or better communicate that you understand your partner’s needs – than taking the initiative to sweep, dust or vacuum on a semi-regular basis. Think of the high you get when one of the players on your baseball fantasy team has a great game – she feels that way when her house is tidy. (Special tip: Try not to boast when you’ve vacuumed one room or wiped a single placemat. Believe it or not, doing a partial job is actually worse than doing nothing.)

5. Grooming the All-star. Prior to having a son, every man tells himself it doesn’t matter whether he’ll be able to throw a ball, catch a pass or sink a basket. Then, once that son arrives, those same fathers suddenly become less worried about whether he can read or write than whether he has good early running form.

Whenever you catch yourself disproportionately focused on things like agility, balance and hand-eye coordination, try to adopt the perspective of Mom, who’s more concerned with fostering well-roundedness through exposure to a variety of different people, places and things. Or at least sing him a song or two while doing those ground-ball drills.

6. Losing the Bloom. One common fear new mommies have is no longer being attractive to their partners. Consider enduring nine months of unstoppable weight gain only to finally deliver the product of those months, and then listen to the person who used to be ga-ga over you talk endlessly about the beauty and perfection of the new little creature instead. Though it makes intuitive sense that a mommy would enjoy nothing better than hearing people compliment her child, this is true with respect to everyone besides you.

Keeping Mommy feeling attractive is a critical part of your job – a part at which many fathers fail because they become so infatuated with their sons or daughters that they simply forget their partners need affirmation, too. Remind yourself to compliment her regularly. Write yourself Post-its, put flags on your computer calendar, etc., whether you’re feeling amorous or not. Think of it as an ongoing thank-you card.

7. Forgetting the Flattery. As bad as neglecting to remind your partner that she’s still desirable is neglecting to let her know you think she’s a terrific parent. There is no harder job in the world than being a mother. It comes with no manual, allows no time off and, most important, has no built-in recognition program. And it’s vital that she knows you recognize and appreciate this.

Even easy children demand plenty and don’t always provide immediate reward. Constantly praising or admiring your child without remembering to do the same for your partner is an inadvertent recipe for resentment and frustration. Whenever you feel you’ve had a taxing day, take a moment to mentally review everything she does for your child – from preparing meals to choosing clothes to scheduling play dates – then tell her how grateful you are for each of these roles she plays and the devotion with which she carries them out. Odds are you’ll be talking for a while.

Want to see more?

• Dad’s New Role: Should a Worried Father-to-be Share His Concerns?
• Putting Yourself in Her Shoes: Sympathy-Building Exercises for the Dad-to-be
• What Is Dad’s Role: A Quiz for Fathers-to-be
• Talk about it!