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Expert Q&A
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| By Elizabeth Pantley Child Behavior Expert Better Beginnings, Inc. | ||
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My wife and I are arguing about our arguments. It's not as funny as it sounds. I don't think we should fight in front of the kids, but she says she doesn't want to be phony when there is a problem. She thinks that by seeing us, the kids will learn that it is normal to have arguments. I think it just stresses them out. What do you think?
I think that it would be pretty difficult to live in a family where the children never see conflict between parents. I think the issue here is more that you should be aware that your children will see and hear more than you think they do. Your wife is correct in thinking that children can learn that it is normal for people who love each other to have arguments. The key is to keep your cool and present your children with an image that is healthy. In other words, it's OK to argue, but make sure that you are both respectful to each other. Name calling and shouting are big no-nos.
And each time that your children witness a disagreement, they should also witness the resolution. Make sure that at the end of it all they see the two of you hug and make peace.
This plan will also help your children learn how to handle the inevitable conflicts that they will have with each other!
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