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Expert Q&A
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| By Paul Coleman Psychologist Family Therapist | ||
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How can I get my 4-year-old to stop hitting me in the groin? I've tried explaining to him how much this hurts Daddy, but he doesn't get it. Most of the time it happens when we play, but sometimes he'll just slam into me from a full-tilt run and hit the strike zone. This has got to stop. What should I do?
Congratulations! You have a budding football player living with you. The good news is that as he gets taller you may find the problem takes care of itself. Still, I'm sure you'd like to halt the problem before then. Besides, he may start doing it to other playful relatives.
Accidental kicks in the groin can't be helped, especially since the two of you seem to enjoy wrestling. Do you want him running into you at all? Or do you prefer he be more gentle? If you don't mind him running into your leg, for example, he needs to over-rehearse doing that. Make a game out of it. Have him run to you repeatedly (10-20 times in a row), but he can only smack your leg. (If you'd prefer he be less rough, have him over-rehearse walking to you and hugging your leg.) Praise him each time he does it correctly and guide his actions if he needs help.
He could start running slowly and pick up speed with each successive attempt, that way he might gain some precision.
After he has rehearsed it, you need to remind him before playtime what he has practiced. If he runs to you when you arrive home from work, perhaps you could call ahead of time to remind him to hug your leg or his mother or some other caretaker could remind him just as you arrive. If he forgets and happens to hit you in the strike zone, gently tell him, ?Noś and have him re-do it.
Be sure to praise him often. If there is a special game or activity he likes, you might include that as a reward once in awhile for a job well done.
Over-rehearsal works for many children. Their bodies can often learn to do what their minds do not quite grasp. Good luck.
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