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Introduction
I think I had my first true lesson of parenting this week. It is best illustrated through this depiction of two different days taking care of Piper:
A GOOD DAY
On Tuesday -- one of the two days I'm home with her -- Piper woke up with a smile. (She has begun to smile at us regularly.) Laura fed her as I got breakfast for us, and then I hung out with the girl while Laura got ready for work. I put Piper in the swing, where she snoozed a lot of the morning away. This was nice -- it meant I was able to get some stuff done on the computer. She woke up for a feeding in the late morning, and then we read books and hung out 'til around the time Laura came home for lunch. Piper got some food from "The Source" and was already yawning when Laura headed back to work. I was able to get a little more work done in the afternoon before she woke up, and we hung out with her activity mat and bouncy seat for some time. Then she had her afternoon bottle, and we read more books and listened to music (Neil Finn, Brian Eno) until she started to doze again. She woke up just before Laura came home from work.
A BAD DAY
Two days later, on Thursday, my other day home with her: Same smile when she woke up, same morning feeding ... but then things diverted from the "good day" experience. The girl had no intention sleeping. No nap. All she wanted was stimulation! She was transfixed by the ceiling fans, or she was playing with a toy. I could leave her on the floor or in the middle of the bed (she's not terribly mobile yet) doing something, but the moment I stepped away from her, she got cranky quickly and demanded my attention. Maybe she just needed to be held? Well, "being held" wasn't quite enough for her. She needed to be held WHILE I walked around. Or swayed. Some sort of comforting movement. Late in the morning, after her bottle feeding, she finally started to fall asleep, but as soon as I put her down in the crib, she was screaming again. I was on the verge of exasperation. The day continued pretty much like this, and I got nothing else done except watching her.
What's the difference between these two days? Honestly, Piper wasn't really all that different either day. She may have been a little more cranky on the second, but most of the difference is my frame of mind. Or rather, my expectations. After the good day, I had an expectation that the next day I took care of her would be as non-parentally productive. But just like Piper is changing every day, so are her daily needs/wants. I have to be ready to adjust to that, 'cause at this point in her life, she sure ain't gonna be the one doing the adjusting.
This has been my lesson in patience: If I set my non-Piper expectations too high for the day, I can pretty much bet that the kid is going to upset those plans quickly. I've always considered myself a pretty flexible guy, but I have been unusually taxed with this point. I had hoped to be doing freelance work to help cover the losses when my job went from full-time to part-time; I need to re-think when that sort of work can realistically occur.
Just the first of many chapters from "The Parents' Primer on Patience" that I will undoubtedly be digesting over the next many years!
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