 | Diary Navigation:
|
Introduction
WHY IS YOUR DOG SO WELL BEHAVED?
My wife and I spent a couple of years as dog trainers for a club in Hawaii, and our spaniel mix reaped the benefits from it by becoming almost unnaturally well-behaved. That training has lasted, even though we haven't trained her seriously for more than two years now. Missy (the name the dog came with) doesn't chase after other dogs, cats, rabbits, birds, or anything else, even though she wouldn't mind doing so, I'm sure. She heels, fetches, and stays like a champ. People are always asking why our dog is so well-behaved and theirs is such a pest, even though most will say they've taken their dogs to training. If I were them, I wouldn't admit I'd wasted my money.
The not-so-big secret to a well-trained animal is consistency. If the same action is okay at one time but not okay another time, you will have a confused dog. The same holds for children.
When the results of a certain action are pleasant, we try to repeat that action to gain the pleasant reaction. That's how our dog training worked. When the dog did what we wanted, we lavished her with praises and petting. (No treats, but that's a column for Pets Today.) And when the dog didn't do what we wanted, we would give her an unpleasant jerk on the leash and start again. The same holds true for 10-month-old Jordan. (For Jordan I use a harsher voice tone rather than a leash.)
KNOW NO
We don't like to always be saying "no" to Jordan, so we've tried to make it easy on everyone by removing obstacles, impediments, and enticements from the areas he will be spending most of his time. After all, we want to set him up for success, not failure. One thing we haven't removed is the television, which has become the tool for teaching Jordan the difference between yes and no.
As long as we're in the room, Jordan knows he won't be able to climb onto the basket that used to keep him away from the television. (A few weeks ago he learned to climb onto the basket.) Even though he knows he not supposed to do it, when he is tired, not even his own baby logic stops him from trying to climb up and put his fingerprints on the slick screen. He'll stand as close to the screen as he can and slowly start to reach out his hand toward either the television or the VCR. That's when I say in a stern voice, "Jordan, NO." These days, I only have to say his name to stop him. In the early days, I'd have to tell him, "NO," loudly and then carry him away from the set and into his crib for a few minutes of what I tell him is "time to think over the consequences of your actions." I always explain to him what he is doing wrong, and always thank him when he stops doing whatever it was. He might not fully comprehend now, but in the near future such explanations will be necessary, as much for me as for him.
CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES
Don't waste your time trying to win every battle with baby. Kids being kids, it's impossible to get them to go against their instincts on their own. If Jordan is in the television room by himself and I suddenly notice it is too quiet in there, I'm not surprised to find him standing in front of the set, fingers all over the screen, and looking very guilty. He knows he's doing something wrong. But he can't help himself. He's a kid and the television is a big bright shiny lure.
There are very few things that we're adamant that Jordan not do. Playing with the television and other electrical equipment is one of them. So we're careful to always correct him vocally when he starts to go for these objects. If he continues, it's the crib for him. A lot of times he goes to sleep, another sign that he was tired and not thinking straight when he tried to eat the television.
While the war for supremacy of the television continues to be fought, other battles are only footnotes and don't tend to matter as much, like the diaper bag incident....
Since Jordan was four months old, we've had a Noah's Ark giraffe bag tied to his crib holding his diapers. Until the time he was 10 months and a few days old, that was fine. Then on that day, he discovered the diapers in the giraffe and started pulling them out, chewing on them for a few seconds, and depositing them in his crib. One by one, all the diapers met the same fate. It was great fun.
Opening all the diapers wasn't a life-threatening action. At the same time, it wasn't something I wanted to see continue. But rather than try to teach a 10-month-old a not-too-distinct lesson about his diapers and giraffe bags, I opted to remove the attraction. Maybe I'll bring it up again on his second birthday or something, but for now, if it doesn't kill him, I'll just keep it out of reach if I don't want him to have it.
BLOCK THE CONFUSION FACTOR
We've been blessed with a remarkably good-natured child. In fact, he's downright charming when we go places like restaurants and different kinds of offices. But, he can't be perfect, so, just as we are able to control our dog, we have to be able to control the child, more for his own good than for ours, especially now that he's so mobile. And hopefully he will learn that no matter how much he doesn't want to, if he follows our instructions, the results for him will be positive.
Life should be more full of "yes" and less full of "no." As long as we can set definite boundaries for Jordan, he won't get confused between the two. And neither will we.
 |  |
|
want to keep a diary on iParenting?
Authoring a diary on the iParenting network allows you to chronicle your family's story, preserving it for years to come. It's also a great way to get the most out of the iParenting community. Click here to start...
|
The iParenting Media Awards program helps parents find the best products for their families. 
