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September 10, 2002
SOME ADDITIONS TO THE BOOK ON EXPECTANT PARENTING
No matter how many expectant parents classes you go to, there always seems to be something that happens after the baby is born that they didn't cover in class. As my grandmother told me recently, every baby is entirely different, no two are the same.
So here are some things they didn't tell me about in baby class. Hope you find them helpful. (Warning: Some of the information below is graphic in nature.)
STOMACH NOT ALTOGETHER DEVELOPED
I was expecting some spitting up with baby. On the other hand, I was hoping that there wouldn't be any. Aim high, I always say.
We soon found we were blessed with "heavy spitter." His spit-up production was copious. The older he got, the more he spit up, presumably because the more he was drinking. Because of my wife's work schedule, we switched Jordan to formula at the end of two months, and the spitting up seemed to get worse. We changed formula. No change. Then the concern. Mostly for our carpet, I admit, since the baby seemed not to be affected by his actions. He'd be sitting or laying, gooing and gurgling as babies do, and then out would flow enormous amounts of white fluid. Much more than it looked like he had eaten. Where did it come from? How did he do it?
On the upside, the baby was in no distress. The act of spitting up only momentarily interrupted whatever he was doing. After a quick inspection of his efforts to get a sense of how it felt to the touch, he quickly went on his way. Had he been wretching and crying and gagging, then we would have approached the situation much differently.
So what was going on here? Turns out that some babies are born with their stomachs not fully developed. I could probably say all babies are like that and not be far off the mark. According to the nurse we questioned about it, most babies stop anywhere from six months to 18 months of age. Eighteen months!?!
Lucky for us, Jordan's stomach outgrew the need to spit up at eight months. He rarely spits up any more, having graduated to expelling sweet little boy burps.
BREAST LUMPS
The last thing I expected to find on my boy was a lump in his chest. It felt like a lima bean or something, very hard and moveable, and very fear-producing in me. The lump showed itself around the first month or so and prompted a quick visit to the Internet, where I learned that this was a normal occurrence with breast-fed babies. Something to do with hormones. Well, somebody could have said something to me beforehand, couldn't they?
PROJECTILE POOPING
How could a little baby shoot poop out his butt faster than the speed of sound? Maybe something to do with the stomach situation discussed above? The first time it happened, Jordan's mommy was changing the diaper. I didn't see the event, but the screams told me something terrible had happened. I quickly calmed my wife and cautioned her to be more on the alert. Such a thing would *never* happen to me because I was just too much on the ball, I foolishly told her.
Soon I would have to eat those words, of course.
Getting ready to place his new diaper, holding his legs up by both feet, I heard the sudden thunderous explosion, followed by what looked like a solid rod of brown extending from the baby's bottom to the wall at the end of his changing table. Then, with a splash, it was not only over, but it was *all* over--the place, that is.
While there have been several times since that it sounded like his diaper wanted to give up, and a few times that it did actually begin to lose the battle, we didn't experience any more such uncovered explosions.
SCIENCE IN THE DIAPER
I knew about wicking clothing being used for runners and athletes, but I had no idea the principle was being used in diapers. While we still can't leave the same diaper on him for the whole day, at least there is a bit of grace achieved by fact that the moisture produced in the device does not stay near the skin for long. There is a volume problem, though, but still, it beats cotton all over the place.
EXERCISE
I didn't figure I'd be able to continue to work out much after the boy was born, and for the most part, that's true. But I am kept hopping from my seat throughout the day making sure that he's not doing something too terribly wrong in his room. Even though we've tried to make the home safe--especially where he stays--it seems an active baby can always find something he's not supposed to have or do, causing him to concentrate all his decision-making skills on getting or doing that forbidden thing.
HOW MUCH I COULD LOVE SOMEONE
Knowing Jordan and being able to watch him grow, learn, and explore, I have experienced a depth of feeling and love that I never knew before. I love my wife and family a whole lot, of course, and would give up much for them. But for Jordan, being so new to the world, so seemingly helpless, I tend to give up a whole lot more. When he smiles and laughs, gives me a quizzical look, holds out his arms to me to pick him up...there are no words to describe how much I love the little critter, or the joy it brings me. And anything I would have to give up would be more than worth the trade for one of those smiles. Okay, anything within reason.
Even when he cries, there is a kind of satisfaction that I feel, in that I usually can tell what the cry means. Whether he's hungry, wet, tired, sleepy, hurt, or whatever, a game of peek-a-boo quickly calms him down. Then we go on to the crux of the matter, and a bottle, a dry diaper, or a comfy crib comes to the rescue.
So there it is, lots to look forward to and lots to be surprised by. And this is only the merest of tips of this 18-year iceberg known as having a baby.
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