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Relational Aggression
Helping the Young Victims of Emotional Bullying
By Jenn Director Knudsen
Masarie says a preschooler may say: "If you don't give me that toy, you're not coming to my birthday party." That may sound mild – possibly even "cute" to an uninitiated parent – or maybe simply indicative of a developmental phase. Yet statements like that can blossom into more hurtful conditions as children develop and become more sophisticated, as in Allie's case.
Tips for Parents Whose Children Are Being Bullied<
The nonprofit organization Full Esteem Ahead offers these tips for parents to sensitively communicate to their children:
- Know that it's not your fault and that you don't deserve it.
- Tell the bully to stop.
- Remove yourself from the situation.
- Get help from people you trust, a school counselor, babysitter or Mom or Dad.
- Hang out with people who let you be you.
- Use humor to deflect bullying.
- Don't become a bully yourself.
And the key to doing so is teaching young kids empathy, says Jean Butcher, an internist and active volunteer in her 10-year-old daughter's public elementary school in suburban Portland, Ore. Ludwig agrees. "I really believe the bottom line to all this bullying is lack of empathy," she says.
But experts and parents alike say teaching young children empathy – the art of putting oneself in the shoes of another – is a huge challenge. "Taching kids that concept is very tough," Masarie says. But it's not impossible.