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Home › Articles › Relationships › Why Is Love So Hard?

Why Is Love So Hard?

The Feel the Fear Guide to Lasting Love

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Traveling the road together can be a joyous experience. But sometimes problems with money, sex, children, work and the like can make the journey together very difficult. It is for this reason that we need to have a Higher Purpose. The Higher Purpose of a relationship is to learn how to become a more loving person – despite what problems come up. It is our using all the problems as a vehicle for seeing what we need to work on within ourselves to keep love in our hearts. In this way, problems become a plus instead of a minus. We learn, we grow, we are filled with creativity, we take responsibility, we feel strong and we ultimately experience the exquisite beauty of real love.

  • Handle the neediness. Neediness is an emotion created by fear and is one of the prime destroyers of love. Neediness causes us to protect ourselves at the expense of our mates, to close our hearts, to judge our mates and blame them for our unhappiness. But when we feel strong and whole, we can be "safely vulnerable," always knowing that no matter what happens we will handle it all. In this way, our neediness disappears and our ability to love with a sense of confidence and joy radiates throughout our beings. We become a magnet to a truly wonderful relationship.

  • Pick up the mirror instead of the magnifying glass. What does that mean? The magnifying glass represents our symbolically pointing a finger and blaming our mates for our unhappiness. The mirror represents looking inward and taking responsibility not only for our actions bu also for our REACTIONS to what is going on in the relationship. The mirror is self-awareness, and self-awareness is the first step toward positive change. A few examples:


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