quick clicks

dads today articles

dads today q&a

community & groups

research baby names

prepare a birth plan

content channels

ip channel rss feeds

read birth stories

read parenting stories

recommended books

e-newsletters

safety recalls

ip diaries

ip store

mom of the month

dad of the month

editor's letter

letters to the editor

Reflections on Motherhood

A One-Year Birthday and a Baby on the Way

By Kate Riener Boyd

We have a predictable schedule, which makes us both happy, and it has allowed me some time to address concerns in my life outside of motherhood. I started a monthly moms' group that keeps me in touch with friends, and I have had occasional time away to myself to write, read or catch a movie. But there is so much I have let slide. If I'm not perfect now, when things are relatively easy, then what sort of mess am I going to be once the new baby arrives?

These are the terrible thoughts that keep me company in the wee hours. I am a lousy homemaker with overflowing closets, who procrastinates virtually every chore, who hasn't made a vegetable with dinner in months, who sometimes leaves dishes in the sink overnight, who is ashamed by the lack of "a place for everything and every thing in its place."

I am a "terrible mom" who lets her son snack too much when we're at The Home Depot to keep him quiet, who ignores a dirty diaper for a few minutes so I don't have to schlep upstairs again, who puts well-worn socks on his feet because I haven't done the laundry. I don't take him to art museums, he doesn't belong to a single playgroup (the horror!), and most chilly days he is shuttled only from his small play area to the car to the grocery store and back.

I am a bad pet owner who yells at the cats, making my son cry in return. They don't get the same kind of attention they once did, and they attempt to rectify the situation by meowing relentlessly. It actually makes me more annoyed and less likely to lavish them with love. My cat sitter is even worried about the cats. I worry that the next time I leave town for a long weekend she is going to take the cats in the name of neglect. And, speaking of neglect, I can't get started with the ways I'm not the perfect wife – it may be hard to stop.

Want to see more?

• Preparing for Your Second Child
• Preparing Your Child for the New Baby
• Talk about it!