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Tops with My Teen
10 Tips to Help Dads Become Their Daughter's Best Friend
By V. Michael Santoro, author of Realizing the Power of Love (Midwest Book Review, 2006)
2. We agreed that mutual trust is earned by exhibiting consistent behavior. The amount of trust that we developed would be proportionate to the amount of freedom that she would enjoy.
3. Anything that she discussed with me was kept in the strictest of confidence. This helped to reinforce the trust.
4. I talked to her as an adult while remembering that she was still a kid. This allowed for flexibility during those trying adolescent years.
5. I became an attentive listener. Multitasking may be necessary at work, however, it will make you appear distracted when discussing something important with your daughter. I learned to focus.
6. I asked the right questions without appearing to interrogate her. It was important that my daughter not fear coming to me to discuss what was important to her. It was equally important that she felt that I took the time to understand what she was trying to communicate.
7. I did not judge her for her actions or ever say, "I told you so!" This helped in having her continue to come to me to discuss topics, and encouraged her to do things better the next time.
8. When helping her with problem solving, we discussed the desired outcomes first and what she needed to do to resolve her problem. Then she was allowed to proactively make her own decisions based upon the facts rather than reacting to her emotions.