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Shh Mom! Stop Spilling My Secrets
Why Parents Should Use Discretion When Talking About Their Teens
By Tamekia Reece
Without trust, your relationship will unravel quickly. "The more discussion parents have with their children, the more bonded they are," Carle says. If you're discussing things your teen has told you with others, you can bet your teen won't be telling you anything else.
Once a parent has lost a child's trust, it's very hard to rebuild. But that doesn't mean you should give up. Carle says that with good communication any breach of trust can be healed. If you're a parent who's trying to rebuild your teen's trust, she suggests you do the following:
- Admit you made a mistake.
- Ask what you can do to show you're sorry.
- Talk about how you can mend the relationship in the future.
Though it may be hard, it's vital that you apologize and show you can be trusted. That means no blabbing, even about small things. By showing your teen that you aren't going to spill even her smallest secrets, you'll ultimately be showing that you can be trusted. Regaining trust is a slow and taxing process, so it's best to avoid it by not losing it in the first place.
Next time you find yourself itching to tell your neighbor the shocking thing your daughter told you last night, ask yourself: Is this worth straining my relationship with my child? Probably not.
*Last name witheld to protect privacy.