quick clicks

dads today articles

dads today q&a

community & groups

research baby names

prepare a birth plan

content channels

ip channel rss feeds

read birth stories

read parenting stories

recommended books

e-newsletters

safety recalls

ip diaries

ip store

mom of the month

dad of the month

editor's letter

letters to the editor

It Takes Two to Toddle

The Benefits of Father-Toddler Alone Time

By Teri Brown

Never before in the history of the family have fathers been expected to take such a hands-on approach to childrearing. No longer permitted to put off involvement until the child is old enough to pitch a ball, fathers are now being called on to change diapers, make runs to the doctor's office and take a proactive role in nurturing their children.

The benefits for fathers of being actively involved with their toddlers are many. Bernie Dorsey, founder of the Conscious Fathering Programs and coordinator of the Washington State Fathering Coalition, believes this time is invaluable for both fathers and their children. "Time alone with their toddler gives dads a chance to really see their little personality emerging," says Dorsey. "Time together can build Dad's confidence in his ability to care for and nurture his child. It also provides an opportunity for Dad and Baby to build on that ever important bond and discover each others' personalities."

Some fathers would like to spend time with their child but are not sure how to go about it. Dealing with a toddler can be daunting, especially for someone who may have limited experience with children.

Dorsey says one of the most common reasons dads are hesitant to spend time with their toddlers is because they are afraid of not knowing what to do. "This is linked directly to confidence," he says. "Peel away the reasons for a father's hesitancy and it becomes more apparent that somewhere along the line he's been convinced that what naturally seems right for him and his toddler is not."

Dorsey also believes it's difficult to spend time alone with Baby if there is pressure to make the most of the time. "We dads are the play guys, the interactive parent, the let's see how hard we can make them laugh parent," he says. "Some would have us believe this has no value in a child's healthy development. On the contrary, what we are learning is that the father's interactions with Baby are irreplaceable parts of Baby's development and that it makes the fathers feel pretty good, too. If a dad feels useless around his toddler, the very first thing he needs to do is learn, independently, what it is he needs to feel comfortable."

Want to see more?

• Playing with Dad: Can Roughhousing Go Too Far?
• Record your memories by starting a Dads Today diary
• Talk about it!

Post As:
Enter your comment below:
Title
Comment Text
CAPTCHA
Please note that any comments submitted become the property of Disney Family / iParenting and can be edited and posted at our discrection.