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Should I Stay or Should I Go?

The Pros and Cons of Being a Stay-at-home Dad

By I.J. Schecter

Your child reaching up to hand you a toy is pure magic. Then again, being taken out to lunch by the boss feels pretty good too. Not sure whether the stay-at-home role is for you? Here are some arguments on both sides to help you decide.

1. You're your own boss. Kind of. You do report directly to someone, but that someone is the child who lights up your soul just by grinning.

2. You'll witness the big moments. Though there will be numerous milestones to celebrate throughout your child's lifetime, those early feats do hold a special power. Las Vegas resident Chad Hyams and stay-at-home dad to daughter Simone says, "I love being there for every new discovery, as opposed to hearing other parents speak about them."

3. You'll ease the pressure on your other half. Being home helps take the pressure off Mom, allowing her to continue the career at a critical juncture, finish recuperating after pregnancy or unfreeze her gym membership.

4. You'll become your child's best friend. Getting to know your child as a person with habits and preferences carries with it a uniqueness of its own. "Simone and I have formed a wonderful bond that I wouldn't trade for anything," says Hyams.

5. Guilt-free guy time. Being home with your child during the day means not feeling guilty about playing sports evenings, researching your fantasy baseball pool or attending the annual Super Bowl party.

1. Shrinking vocabulary syndrome. Spending every day with an infant may eventually cause you to want to get back into the real world. Toronto dad Steve Bleiwas, who took time off to stay home with his son Justin, says, "When you realize you are speaking in baby talk and humming Barney tunes, you start to crave adult interaction."

2. There's no formal reward-and-recognition program. Not that your child doesn't make you feel like a million bucks just by reaching out for a hug, but you might also come to miss the professional gratification of hearing words like, "Terrific job on that report."

3. Personal time? What personal time? "It can really get to you, not to be able to even go to the bathroom by yourself," says Bleiwas. "You realize how precious five minutes alone really is when you can't get it."

4. The separation anxiety
   
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   Want to see more?

   • The Trials and Tribulations of a Stay-at-home Dad
   • Workaholics: Penciling Your Family In
   • Working At Home: Is It for You?
   • Talk about it!

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