- my iParenting
- quick clicks
- dads today articles
- dads today q&a
- community & groups
- research baby names
- prepare a birth plan
- content channels
- ip channel rss feeds
- read birth stories
- read parenting stories
- recommended books
- e-newsletters
- safety recalls
- ip diaries
- ip store
- mom of the month
- dad of the month
- editor's letter
- letters to the editor
From Our Sponsors
- e-newsletters
- Sign up to receive our free weekly e-newsletters
- award-winning products
The iParenting Media Awards program helps parents find the best products for their families.
Solo Santa
The Single Dad's Guide to Surviving the Holidays By Teri Brown
"As an example, I may not have my children with me on December 25, but I can celebrate Christmas on the days that they are with me," Dr. Billingham says. "We can fight the loneliness by accepting the fact that the children are not with us on specific days, and focus instead on the joy and happiness that we will be able to share with them when they are with us."
It's essential that fathers create their own holiday rituals when the children are not there. For instance, instead of spending a traditional Thanksgiving dinner with your own family, try putting together a Thanksgiving football party in the afternoonanything to keep you involved with something other than thinking about what your own young children may be doing.
Dr. Billingham says that community service may be your answer. "Instead of feeling lonely, volunteer to work at a food kitchen or other social service agency/project," he says. "Getting out of one's self and your grief is always a good idea, because it helps put life in perspective and allows us to have something to be proud of ourselves about."
According to Dr. Billingham, creating new rituals or routines is key. "Doing things differently than we used to do them always helps," he says. "Do not try to maintain the old rituals and routines. They harbor too many memories that can lead to emotional traps."
It's also important that you don't try to do too much. It is the quality of the time with the children that counts, not how much you do. Younger children want to be held, read to and played with, not taken to the zoo or the mall.
"The best parent is both parents," Dr. Billingham says. "These are the only two parents the children will ever have. Let the children know that they may call their mom any time they want to, or specific times may be established (with the other parent's input). Definitely let the child call or receive a call from the other parent on the specific holiday. If there is enough time, ask the child if they want you to help them buy a gift for the other parent or a card."