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What Parenting Books Don't Tell You

12 More Tips for New Dads

By I.J. Schecter

It's not sex you'll miss so much those first few months. You'll probably be too tired to think much about sex. Rather, it's the time just hanging out together you'll miss most – the hours spent just doing silly things or trying to make each other laugh. Be patient – those times will return. Until then, don't forget to say "I love you" at least once a day.

Particularly if the baby is your first, it's a fair certainty that at some point you're going to have to manage your parents' desire to drop by almost every day. Your wife is your first priority, and too-frequent visits – often coupled with well-intentioned but unwanted advice – are not healthy for her or for you. It's up to you to lay it on the line. Since most men really are mama's boys, this may be difficult, but it will benefit everyone in the long run. Remember to be gentle about it, especially toward your mother, who finds herself in an ironic position: She's waited 25 or 30 years to share her child-rearing wisdom, and now that she can, you don't want it.

Want to see more?

• How I Knew I Was a Dad: 15 Surefire Ways
• The Joy of Fatherhood: The First 12 Months
• What Not to Do in the Delivery Room
• For Fathers Only: A Quiz for the Parentally Challenged
• Talk about it!

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