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Super Dads
Handling Parenting Challenges in a Single Bound
By Michael L. Thal
Suttenberg. "Positive communication skills between parent and child require years of practice." Like anything else, the more you practice, the greater the rewards it will reap.
One Monday morning I had to pull my years of parenting experience together to deal with my youngest daughter, Koren. It was 7:30 a.m., and I had my daughter to wake and prod to school by 8. While she showered and dressed, I walked Bear, the family dog. Normally he's Koren's responsibility, but given the urgency of the hour, I took him out.
When I came home I told Koren, then 13, about my good deed. She said, "I took him out at 7 o'clock."
"You were up and didn't wake me?" I asked. I was seething but put my indignation in check. I didn't want to start a fight with her, but I did want her to understand she had acted irresponsibly, and I was not pleased. Unanswered questions stormed my mind. Why did she go back to sleep? Why was she so thoughtless?
A parent's words can be like a switch that either causes a short circuit of emotions, destructive and hurtful, or one that causes a series of lights to go on within the child, productive and helpful.
When Koren entered the car, I said, "It was very responsible of you to wake up early and walk Bear. However, you know you are a woman when you step outside your bubble and tend to the needs of your family."
I remained quiet for the five-minute trip to the middle school. Koren left the car mumbling her goodbyes and exited with a teen attitude. You know the demeanor that says, "I don't care." But you could tell from her quiet manner that she was thinking. I knew my message got through.
There are also times when super dad needs to say little, but be as supportive as an