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Super Dads
Handling Parenting Challenges in a Single Bound
By Michael L. Thal
When I was 9, I read Superman comics. I liked how my super hero saved lives and fought vicious criminals. I wanted to grow up to be just like him. Well, I'm no super hero, just an ordinary guy. But dads like me do have the power of being super for our kids by showing them how much we care.
Kids watch their parents all the time. "One of the very important functions of being a parent is role modeling, and, as such, fathers face a similar challenge as mothers to be the best role models possible for their children to emulate," says Laurie Patlin Suttenberg, LCSW, DCSW, a family therapist in New Jersey. That's why it's so important for dads to take their fatherhood seriously.
Children need their fathers to be emotionally available. Super dad is threaded into the emotional fabric of his family, showing his love in comforting and consistent ways. When Vic Ghazarian's daughter, Nina, was a sophomore in college, he sent her flowers. That evening she called her mom. "I was so touched by Daddy's thoughtfulness," she says. "I only hope I can find a husband as kind and considerate as Daddy." This wasn't an isolated event. The Los Angeles, Calif., dad is a key player in his daughters' lives.
Moving his family across town, Barry Mason of Canyon Country, Calif., father of two boys, applied for a waiver for his son, JD. The teen didn't want to leave his friends and switch high schools. The waiver was declined. Mason wouldn't take no for an answer and talked personally with the principal. They struck a three-way deal. JD could stay at his high school if he brought up his grades.
"JD saw how his family could make positive things happen," says Mason. "He knew it was easier for me to let it go. I had to wake up earlier to chauffeur him to school and be there at 3 p.m. when school let out. I did this for two years. But it was worth it. JD's grades improved, and he saw how much I cared."