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Putting Yourself in Her Shoes
Sympathy-Building Exercises for the Dad-to-be
By I.J. Schecter
Stick your stomach out as far as possible – until it's all the way out – then hold it for 10 seconds. Then hold it for another 30. Then hold it for three minutes. Have lunch, but don't let your stomach in. Getting tired? Keep holding it. Now have lunch again. She has to do this every day.
Third Trimester
Issue
The romance of impending motherhood has worn off – she's starting to say things like she'd be thrilled if pregnancy lasted seven months. You're confused, even put off, by her negative attitude. You find her more beautiful than ever, even sexy in a different way, but when you tell her this she responds by telling you you're an idiot, or worse.
Sympat Go to the gym and grab a medicine ball. Try to find one that weighs at least 20 pounds. Put it under your shirt and walk around for an hour. Now imagine not using your arms to support it.
Wear three pairs of socks and two pairs of gloves – for several weeks. Turn down the heat in your house until the circulation to your fingers and toes almost vanishes. Keep it that way – for two months.
Post-pregnancy
Issue
You couldn't wait for the pregnancy to be done so she'd feel good about herself again. Now she's lost 20 pounds, the rest is coming off slowly, and all is perfect. Or at least it should be. Instead, she's aggravated or depressed – or both.
Sympat Imagine you've contracted a mysterious thyroid condition that causes you to gain weight regardless of what you do. The good news, says your doctor, is that it's temporary – in nine months it will subside, and you can start losing weight again. During this time, you can exercise all you want, but you're still going to gain 40 pounds or more, which may show only in your middle but possibly in your face and elsewhere.
You endure the nine months, exercising when you feel good enough, and, just as the doctor said, end up gaining the 40 pounds. At the end of the nine months, you're delighted because you can get back to exercising in earnest. In fact, nearly half the weight comes off almost immediately! The problem is, there are 20 more to lose, and you want to hit the gym or rent a Pilates video, but for three months, all you crave is sleep.
Want to see more?
- Beyond Flowers: Gift-giving Ideas for the New Mom
- Keep Mom-to-be Smiling: 10 Creative Ways to Pamper Your Pregnant Wife
- Going the Full Nine: How to be a Model Husband From the First Day of Pregnancy to the Last
- Emotional Connections: Start the Bonding Process at Day One
- Postpartum Dad Series
- Talk about it!
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