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Saying Good-bye to Youth

By Jay Sauls

Sherry snuggles up to me and starts calling me dad. In 35 years on earth, I had been called many names, but never dad. It felt strange. "I'm not dad!" my mind repeated over and over. I can't be dad! Dads are old and gray with hair in their ears! I still like playing Nintendo!

Over the following six months I slowly grew fond of the name. I found myself planning more for the future than the next weekend. But being "dad" still didn't seem completely real. Sherry was barely showing; she had yet to experience any morning sickness or mood swings. It was hard to believe she was pregnant. Then we had the ultrasound. I stared excitedly as the nurse pointed out our little baby. The first time, all I saw was a smudge no larger than a butterbean. But as the months went by, the image took on a shape. Before long I could see arms and legs. The head and face were slowly becoming visible. All doubt was removed! Moving constantly on the monitor was my little girl or boy.

The special day was thankfully drawing close. Every sudden pain or spasm brought both of us to a halt. We would hold our breath to see if the pain returned. I paced anxiously, waiting for my wife to give me the all clear.

At approximately 8:30 a.m. on September 26, 1997, I was knotting my tie when I heard my wife yelp. I ran into the bedroom to see her staring at me with a mixture of terror and excitement. Her eyes blazed as she struggled to talk. "Oh my God, it's time!" At that moment, I don't know who was more panicked, me or my wife! What had been a date far off in the future, one that said we had plenty of time, had arrived. Suddenly nine months had come and gone in a blink of an eye. Within hours we would be responsible for another life. One that you didn't feed by dropping flakes in a tank or opening cans and putting the food out on the back porch. We would be parents. The final ascension into adulthood.

Want to see more?

• Entering as Husband, Exiting as Father
• How I Knew I Was a Dad
• The Joy of Fatherhood: The First 12 Months
• Talk about it!