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Guilt and the Stay-at-Home Dad
Lessons on Letting Go and Accepting the Now
By Michael Sheridan
For me, I always expected to work full time, playing that traditional role of Dad. However, fatherhood has been far different than I anticipated. "I work with many couples where the dads are home, often because they were downsized and lost their job," Dr. Meyer says. "Being a stay-at-home dad used to be considered shameful in past generations, but it's not anymore."
According to Dr. Meyer, for men it is important to "ask yourself how you value the role of caretaker? It used to be thought that women had all this free time when they were at home. That they were just home and taking care of kids and they had it easy. But we know better now. Raising children is hard work, especially when they are young and need more attention."
Guilt can also be fed by extended family members or friends who minimize your role as a stay-at-home dad. "Often fathers who stay home full time are seen as lazy," Dr. Meyer says. "People may think they are not trying hard enough to get work, or that something is wrong with them because they're just staying home. But being a parent is a very valuable job. It's probably the hardest job any person can have, because you're constantly being a teacher and a role model."