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From Partners to Parents

Tips for a Smooth Transition

By Jacqueline Rupp

When it is only you and your significant other, it's hard to imagine what life will be like when Baby enters the picture. Realizing your lives are about to dramatically change can prompt thoughts about how this change will affect your relationship.

Learning to work as a team and to share the struggles and joys of parenthood can actually become an awesome bonding experience. The trick is to learn to grow together, not apart, and still save time and a bit of you to be partners, not just parents.

When you're pregnant, stress and anxiety may begin to build up between you and your partner. During this time, the immediacy and reality of the responsibility you two have undertaken may weigh on your minds. That's why it is especially important to communicate with each other not just about the happiness and joy you are feeling, but also about the fear and anxiety you both have.

"There are many sources of anxiety," says Patricia Schell Kuhlman, who along with her husband, Dr. Gregory Kuhlman, operate the Marriage Success Training Program, which educates engaged and newly married couples on everything from communication skills to dealing with life's transition. "Latent feelings about preparedness for parenthood, financial pressures, family and in-law issues, among many others, can be brought to the forefront as the due date draws closer."

Dr. Kuhlman says partners can recognize symptoms of pre-baby stress by looking for irritability and an increase in fighting or withdrawal. She recommends dealing with these problems by communicating. "Schedule your planning, preparation and talking so that it occurs at a time when both partners are emotionally available, well rested, not stressed," she says. "Use communication approaches like time-outs, if one partner tends to get overloaded. Recognize that differences are normal."

When you are expecting, expectations can become a big part of life. Imagining the perfect family will not get you any closer to having one, however. But by being proactive and taking steps to make a positive transition you can turn some of your expectations into reality.

Want to see more?

• Easing Expectant Fears: How to Relax and Enjoy Your Pregnancy
• Learning to Let Go: Coping with the Stress of New Parenthood
• Dad's New Role: Should a Worried Father-to-Be Share His Concerns?
• Talk about it!