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Dads Flying Solo
How to Come through When Mom Goes Away
By I.J. Schecter
(Fisher Books, 2000): "Imagine having a car alarm that lives in your own house. It goes off regularly during the day and night. And imagine that you have to pick up the car alarm and cuddle it and kiss it. You sing to it and mumble soothing words and guess what? It just gets louder!" Sarcasm aside, Downey makes an important point: The more closely you visualize reality, the better prepared you'll be to manage it.
Better yet, create your own reality by planning in advance. "When I know I'm going to have the kids on my own, I try to think ahead of something fun we can do together," says Mark Brender, a father of two from Ontario, Canada. "I like to have some kind of plan, something we can all get excited about."
"The best way to prepare for single duty is to impose it on yourself even when you don't have to," says Dave Joseph of Toronto, Canada. "Send Mom to the spa for a day – she probably deserves it anyway – and take care of the kids yourself. Don't call to ask where the diapers are; don't ask your mom to come over to help; don't use the TV as your babysitter. Force yourself to be resourceful and to improvise when necessary. Do it regularly, maybe once a month. Then, when Mom actually does have to be away, you won't miss a beat."