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Thanks Dad

A Worried Dad-to-be Looks to the Stars

By Mark Stackpole

sts and advised us of what we should do in case of a miscarriage. I was just wondering if you could keep an eye on the little guy. Y'know, look after him until he's big enough to hang in there on his own..."

Of course, my father didn't answer in a way that I could hear. I looked deep into the inscrutable face of night and hoped for some show of emotion. I knew that a booming voice from the sky intoning, "Everything is going to be fine," was probably too much to ask, but might there be an angel who wasn't too busy to come cruising down with glad tidings? Even if that were against the rules, I wouldn't tell. How about a falling star for me to catch and make a wish on? Could the trees maybe whisper something encouraging as a heavenly exhalation stirred their leaves?

After waiting a few minutes to make sure that the lack of response wasn't due to a slow satellite uplink between here and heaven, I thanked my dad and went to bed. Despite the lack of celestial confirmation, I felt heard and in turn felt better enough to finally fall asleep.

My dad passed away almost 10 years ago, and to be perfectly honest, we weren't that close when he died. I was an angry young man and he was a bitter old one. I didn't like the way he treated me and the rest of the family and was determined not to let him off the hook, even when he became desperately ill. When I visited him for the last time, he told me to "look after your mother," while rumpling my hair. I did not make the time to see him the next day, and before the sun came up again, he was gone. For the fir

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• Egg Day: Taking the Next Step Toward Conception
• Fuzzy Blue Hippo: A Hopeful Dad's Wait for Conception
• Fuzzy Blue Hippo: A Letter to My Baby on the Way