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The Monster in the Closet
A Father-to-be's Fears Go Bump in the Night
By Mark Stackpole
For the time being, this room is monster-proof and child-safe in every way that I can think of. Everything is in order every time I go in, but that doesn't stop me from visiting everyday. I suppose that I will have to wait for an actual child to take up residence in order to determine what safety precautions still need to be taken.
My greatest fears no longer have anything to do with me. In a way, that makes them even worse, because there is relatively little that I can do about them. I can cover every outlet, but how can I stop hurt feelings? I can make sure that she doesn't run with scissors, but is there any way to prevent a broken heart? The first time she gets teased, falls off her bike or gets her name on the board at school – all necessary steps in the inexorable process of growing up, but all painful nonetheless.
Perhaps I am being selfish because these things will hurt me as well. Like every other father, I wish that I could feel these pains for my child. But even if this wish were to come true, I understand that it would make me even more selfish. Hard times and the resulting emotions have a lot of teach us about who we are, and to deprive a child of that experience is to stand in her way as she begins to navigate life's tough waters.
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