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Mom-to-be and Dad-to-be On the Same Page

5 Tips to Help You and Your Partner Enjoy Pregnancy

By I.J. Schecter

Nothing compares to the discovery that you are going to welcome a child into the world. But there's a difference in how men and women usually react to this discovery. As Greg Bishop, head coach of Boot Camp for New Dads, puts it, "Most men start off slowly, sorting out and thinking through all the implications, while moms quickly ramp up to light speed."

As an expectant dad, you may not be able to get up to light speed (you can't completely ignore sports highlights), but there are things you can do to make the process easier. Here are 5 principles to help you – and, in turn, your partner – endure and enjoy the journey.

Of course you're interested. But men tend to experience their interest in a reserved way. Practice verbalizing. Tell her you're excited. Download lists of baby names. Switch off the TV to tell her you can't stop thinking about what the baby's going to look like.

Why it's important: From the moment she sees that blue stripe, your partner will think of nothing but the baby. It will help her to know you're thinking about it, too. "More and more today I hear the phrase, 'We're pregnant,'" says Dr. Lillian M. Beard, associate clinical professor of pediatrics at George Washington University in Washington, D.C. "I think this shows that men are accepting pregnancy as a truly shared experience. I hope it's also indicative of their commitment."

For example, at some point – it doesn't matter whether you're making dinner or just sitting on the couch together – turn to your partner and say, "So how do you picture the baby's room?"

What you're thinking: "I don't even know what goes into a baby's room."

What she's thinking: "How many men would initiate a conversation about the nursery? I married an amazing guy."

Want to see more?

• No "Ifs," "Ands" or "Buts": Overcoming Disagreements during Pregnancy
• The Involved Dad: 5 Commandments for Today's Family Man
• Daddy Baby Blues? Understanding How Postpartum Depression Affects New Dads
• Talk about it!

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