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Blended Families
Making It Work for Everyone By Kelly Burgess
You can't expect your children to become best friends with your new spouse's children, but you can demand that they treat each other with respect. Bouchard says in particular it's important for all the children to learn to respect each other's property and personal space. From the parents, Bouchard emphasizes respect, communication and clear boundaries, regardless of the ages of the children.
Shared Custody Issues
Bouchard says it can be very difficult if a child spends part of a week at one parent's and part at the other if there are very different parenting styles and house rules between the former spouses. She herself had that problem with one of her stepdaughters after she and her husband were married. Her recommendation is to allow the child a buffer time to adjust when returning from the other household. Be patient for that short time if they're whiny, wound up, sarcastic or whatever, and then gntly do something very concrete to bring them back into the life of the house, such as suggesting that they help set the table for dinner. It also helps, she notes, if the family has a ritual they do every single day so the child knows that it's happening whether they are there or not. It gives a feeling of stability and connection. Differing Parenting Styles