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A Dads-to-be's Sensual Side
How to Maintain Intimacy with Baby on the Way
By Mark Stackpole
Weight gain and the resultant self-consciousness is often a barrier to physical intimacy as well. In addition to a lot of snuggling, the Vanns also made sure to get away for a few romantic weekend getaways. "They made all the difference during the pregnancy," Paul Vann says.
Rob and Jen Barron of Denver, Colo., had been trying to get pregnant for nearly two years. Anyone who has had trouble getting pregnant knows how quickly intimacy can disappear, as "making love" becomes "making baby." The Barrons are now expecting twins, and Rob Barron is trying to be a supportive husband as he also prepares to be a wonderful father.
"Honestly, I don't know what I'm doing," Rob Barron says. "I smile and nod a lot. Let's face it, if men understood women, the world would be a better place."
Jen Barron is quick to defend her self-deprecating husband. "He really is wonderful," she says. "He goes out of his way to help me, whether he's getting up in the middle of the night to rub my leg when I get a cramp or rubbing the top of my head to help the headache go away."
Physical intimacy does not necessary mean having sex, and a couple needs to be clear about when and where those lines are drawn. "When we're i bed, I do rub her back and shoulders softly, with no expectation of sex, to help relax her," Rob Barron says. "That sounds silly, 'no expectation of sex,' but I think it's pretty true in a lot of relationships; each partner has his or her own set of 'signs,' and it is important that she knows I'm there to help, not just for sex."
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