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Mediate ... Me? (Yes, You)
10 Ways to Help People Settle Their Differences
"Suddenly, the money dispute that had started the mediation became secondary," Krivis says. "The two parties were able to create a new, mutually beneficial charitable venture that could also save a lot of lives."
8. "Edit the script" to help people see their situation in a different light.
"People tend to get 'stuck' in their positions because they are telling what happened from a narrow viewpoint 
and in a negative and hopeless tone," Krivis says. "They've relayed their story over and over again and their perception has become their reality. They can't see the situation any other way unless you help them to do so. "As the mediator, you can take a larger view that looks not at one party or the other 'winning' but at both parties working toward a mutual goal," Krivis says. "One way to help them get to this goal is to edit their script – retell their story about the dispute as a positive, forward-looking construction. In this way you literally give them the words to see their options in a new light."
9. Avoid the "winner's curse" by carefully pacing negotiation.
Believe it or not, it is possible to reach a solution too quickly. We all have an inner clock that lets us know how long a negotiation should take. When a deal seems too easy, a kind of buyer's remorse can set in that leaves people with second thoughts about the outcome. One or both parties may be left with the feeling that if things had moved more slowly, they might have cut a better deal. Here's the bottom line, Krivis says: Don't rush the dance or the negotiation will fail. "Even when you know you can wrap things up quickly, it's to everyone's advantage to keep the negotiation proceeding normally, for a reasonable amount of time, before the inevitable settlement," he says.