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Cohabiting Couples Raising Teens
Why Teens Benefit When Couples Say, "I Do."
By Laura Paul
White teenagers living with cohabiters are significantly more likely to exhibit "low school engagement" than those living with a single mother (39.3 compared to 27.9 percent.) Also, white and black teenagers living with cohabiters are more likely to be suspended or expelled from school than those living with a single mother.
Katherine Robredo, a licensed clinical social worker in Colorado Springs, Colo., says she finds teenagers are less likely to accept a "functional stepparent" in the home if the boyfriend or girlfriend is not married to the biological parent. Robredo recommends newly single parents avoid living with boyfriends or girlfriends because dating relationships are often rocky and unpredictable. Better to stay with grandparents or an extended family member if finances are tight until matters improve.
"What I find with kids is they don't have any reason to invest in the other person, and often it's the other way around too where the other person does not seem as interested in the child," Robredo say. "They don't see what's in it for them to get to know the person too well because usually if the parents are cohabiting, it's not going to be the first time they've done that or the kids don't have any reason to believe they will have to deal with that person too much."
Teenagers, especially male teenagers, need positive male role models and authority figures. Single mothers cn rely on a brother or grandfather. They can encourage their sons to spend time with (trustworthy) male mentors through sports or clubs.
