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Separation Anxiety
A Dad Reflects on Choosing Separate Classrooms for His Twins By George Ayres
sked. "Yes, you'll be very near each other," I said. "OK. That's OK." There was a pause. Now they finally understood. It had gotten to them, I felt sure. That they were going to be separated when school started had dawned on them. I expected immediate sadness, probably even tears. I waited.
"I don't like these peas," said Liza, pushing her plate away. "Me either," said Hallie. That's when we realized we were letting this decision get to us, and I began to wonder who was really having the separation anxiety here?
When that first day of school arrived, Liza and Hallie weren't so bothered about being left behind by Mom and Dad. That had happened before. But you could see a glimpse of fear on their faces when they had to walk into separate classrooms and be apart from their best friend, the one person in their short-lived lives who had always been with them.
But from that point forward, they began to develop their own friendships and interests, and people began to see them individually, not just as a unit. Each girl began to have "ownership" of her own experiences. Hallie might come home one day saying, "In MY class we did this...," and Liza might counter with, "Well in MY class we did this..." Looking back, I know it was one of the best decisions we've ever made on their behalf.
Since that event, they've remained in separate classrooms but usually right next door or across the hallway from each other. They've adjusted and grown but still love to find each other and play together during recess.
And Mom and Dad did survive. Our own anxiety took care of itself as we watched Liza and Hallie, resilient as children are, move into the next phase of their young lives.
