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Hello? Anyone Home?
The Modern Man's Hunt for the Cordless Phone Receiver
By Tim Hererra
Yes, three phones with an extension in the garage was the answer to our phone shortage. NOT. It seems that having three cordless phones now means we have three phones to lose at any one time.
We find phones on the piano. Under the kids' pillows. In the spare bathrooms. Lying on the stairs. On top of the mantle. We even find phones in clusters, two and sometimes three lying next to each other in someone's room. At night, after the kids go to bed, we gather up the phones and put them in their chargers so that they are ready for misplacement the next day.
The phones end up in all kinds of weird places, but not one of our four children is ever guilty of misplacing them. Apparently, someone sneaks in and callously scatters phones throughout our house. It must be the same person who tosses shoes and socks on the carpet like confetti during a victory parade.
The only real solution is to return to the good old days when houses had only one phone. It was black, weighed 10 pounds and had an industrial cable connecting the receiver to the base. The kind of phone your grandmother had. The kind of phone you would never, ever find in someone's sock drawer.
I should consult my sister about this. She has saved just about everything from our younger days. She has old dishes, cookie jars and keepsakes from our old home. I wonder if she has our old jet-black, battleship rotary phone. I'll call her and ask as soon as I can find a phone. Maybe there's one in the freezer.
