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The Monster in the Closet
A Father-to-be's Fears Go Bump in the Night
By Mark Stackpole
ered? No loose sheets or stuffed animals in her crib? Can a stranger walking by our house in the middle of the night see in? Or heaven forbid, sneak in? (The fact that her room is on the second floor does provide some comfort here.) I even check her closet to see how much room any potential monsters might have if they decide to pay her a visit. There are so many clothes and toys in there that even a pair of my monstrous-smelling socks would barely fit.
For the time being, this room is monster-proof and child-safe in every way that I can think of. Everything is in order every time I go in, but that doesn't stop me from visiting everyday. I suppose that I will have to wait for an actual child to take up residence in order to determine what safety precautions still need to be taken.
My greatest fears no longer have anything to do with me. In a way, that makes them even worse, because there is relatively little that I can do about them. I can cover every outlet, but how can I stop hurt feelings? I can make sure that she doesn't run with scissors, but is there any way to prevent a broken heart? The first time she gets teased, falls off her bike or gets her name on the board at school – all necessary steps in the inexorable process of growing up, but all painful nonetheless.
Perhaps I am being selfish because these things will hurt me as well. Like every other father, I wish that I could feel these pains for my child. But even if this wish were to come true, I understand that it would make me even more selfish. Hard times and the resulting emotions have a lot of teach us about who we are, and to deprive a child of that experience is to stand in her way as she begins to navigate life's tough waters.
I have a responsibility to protect my child, and I intend to honor it with every fiber of my being. The hardest part of this responsibility is the realization that my protection of her can never be complete, no matter how hard I try. Life is full of skinned knees, bumps, bruises and tears. I will try to prevent them whenever I can, but perhaps more importantly, I have to find a way to teach her how to deal with them when they inevitably occur. And I'm scared that I will not be up to that particular task.
Maybe my old monster will return to Corinne's closet (if he can find the space) and make his nightly visits, not quite hidden by the shadows in her room. It will be good to see him again and not be afraid this time. It will be even better to guarantee my daughter that pulling the covers over her head will provide all the protection that she needs. Daddy knows how to fix this one.
There are no monsters in my own closet anymore, but tonight, I am going to pull the covers over my head one more time, just for the heck of it. After all, there are still a lot of things out there that Daddy doesn't know how to fix. And those are my biggest fears of all.
Yeah, as scary as that monster used to be, I sure do miss him now.
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