Make Every Day Father's Day

Create Family Intimacy Even Before Baby Arrives

By Teri Brown

Linda Sherwood from Merritt, Mich., found a unique way to involve her husband in their first child's prenatal development – even while he attended basic training several hundred miles away. "Instead of the normal updates, I would use my left hand (Sherwood is right handed) to write 'Dear Daddy' letters from our unborn child," says Sherwood. "I'd include info about developmental stages mixed with info from the latest doctor's appointment and ultrasound pictures."

It was important to both the Sherwoods that Steve feel he was a part of the process, even though he couldn't participate in the traditional sense. "He wasn't there day to day to see my belly or to feel the baby kick," says Sherwood. "So I did this to help make it real to him."

The Sherwoods found an unusual way to make fatherhood come alive for Steve, even when he couldn't be there. But the father doesn't have to be far away to feel a little disconnected from the whole pregnancy process. The key to a lifetime of happy Father's Days lies in finding ways for the father to connect deeply with both his wife and his child.

Edwin Hoffman-Smith from The Natural Childbirth Family Clinic in Portland, Ore., believes the most important thing in being an involved father is communication between the spouses throughout the entire process. "Choosing a birthing process, attending prenatal visits and acting as your [wife's] birthing coach are all activities that will bring the mother and father closer," he says.

These activities during pregnancy are crucial in parental bonding and will hold them in good stead as they adjust to the challenges of a new baby. "I have heard of mothers and fathers creating body plasters of the pregnant mother's belly together," says Hoffman-Smith. "This is an activity that you can really have fun with." Belly casting involves creating a Plaster of Paris cast of the mother's burgeoning body to commemorate the birth. Some birthing centers offer casting workshops, and there are kits available as well.

Want to see more?

• BirthPlan.com
• Emotional Connections: Start the Bonding Process at Day One
• Bonding for Life: Developing that Special Connection With Your Baby
• Talk about it!