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Sex After Baby
Easing Back into Intimacy
By Felicia Hodges
Differences in how men and women instinctively see sex can cause difficulties for you, particularly if resentment and anger come into the mix. "A lot of women get married to have children and the urge to merge for them [may be] to procreate. Once the baby is born, there's the catharsis," Raether says. "On the other hand, a man whose partner no longer seems to have time for him, but will run whenever baby whimpers, may associate the childbirth with the loss of sex."
Sometimes this causes fathers to withdraw from their baby duties, which may make their wives even more protective of their little one. This can create a hard-to-break cycle. "It's a pretty common problem," Raether says. "I think doctors and clinicians should tell people about this more often, but that is just not the nature of the medical system."
But knowledge is power, even in the sexual arena. "Having awareness leads to greater understanding," Raether says. "This puts everything into a proper perspective."
Tips for re-igniting your sexual flame include:
- Communication: Honesty gives validation to the issue. If you are troubled by what is or isn't going on, talk about it with your partner.
- Be Supportive and Patient: Realize that Mom's being home all day doesn't necessarily mean she's getting a whole lot of rest.
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