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Playing with Dad
Can Roughhousing Go Too Far?
By Mark Stackpole
Nothing makes Josh Grabowski laugh harder than being tossed into the air, twirled around and then flipped upside down. His father, Mark, does all of the tossing, twirling and flipping with the fluid grace of a man practiced at his art. He counts to three and raises Josh a little higher over his head with each successive number. By the time "three" rolls around, Josh is already kicking and squealing with the anticipation of a rollercoaster rider about to take the big plunge. When the split-second freefall finally comes, giggles abound and his head bobs empathically forward, urging Dad to do it again.
"This type of play is necessary for both me and my son," says Grabowski, a father of two from Manteca, Calif. "I think it creates a safe environment for him to experience fear and exhilaration – two things that if he can embrace will help make him be cool under pressure and less afraid to take chances."
Other types of physical play between fathers and sons may be more aggressive than the "flinging" that Grabowski prefers. He is careful to point out that he is uncomfortable with the notion of "play fighting" with Josh. A former high school and junior college athlete, he is especially aware of his own size and that his son may also be big for his age. If the play gets too aggressive, Grabowski says that he doesn't want to take the chance that Josh will "misinterpret the acts as OK to do with others, and I believe that it is my responsibility to set boundaries."
