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Romantic Dads
It's OK to be Sensitive and Strong By Laura Cone
When his 2-year-old son Erik was an infant, Eric Peterson of Oakland, Calif., says his most romantic gestures went beyond bringing flowers or opening the door for his wife. Peterson changed diapers, fed his son and took him with him to work every day. Now, he still finds time to take his wife of 12 years, Tami Wasson, out for a date night every week.
Peterson wants to set a positive example for his son – not just in terms of being a good provider but in terms of giving women what they want. Most women, he believes, want a man who will be secure enough in his masculinity to be a romantic dad and one who listens, helps out around the house and still knows when to take charge.
"The point is to teach him you don't have to fall under any kind of stereotype," Peterson says. "It's OK to change diapers, feed babies. It's not necessarily only the mother's job."
Peterson believes many masculine traits are hard-wired in boys. Boys also learn about the more traditional masculine roles through the media, he says. "It's more important I present him with a balanced view of the world because he will get plenty of masculine role modeling through the media and everything else," he says.
Hogan Hilling of Irvine, Calif., has been a stay-at-home father for 12 years. He says one of the most romantic ways he expresses his love for his wife is by listening. Hilling has been married for 17 years and is the author of The Man Who Would Be Dad (Capital Books, 2002), which is based on a journal he kept for eight years while raising his sons, now ages 11, 14 and 16.
"I have had to learn to express to my wife that I felt hurt," Hilling says. "Sometimes when I said something it came out as being angry and frustrated when I was really hurting inside. For example, instead of raising my voice, I've learned to calm my voice down and get more in touch with what I really feel inside, which most guys don't do."
