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Home › Articles › New Dads/Newborn Issues › Equal Billing

Equal Billing

8 Concerns of New Fathers

By Hogan Hilling

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Believe it or not, some dads don't immediately bond with the baby. The reasons for this are too lengthy to list and involve inherent emotions dads have not been given permission to discuss. An example is given in the "Lifestyle Change" below.

A contributing factor to dads feeling disconnected from the baby has also been the way Lamaze instructors refer to dads as "coach" or "birth partner." Not recognizing expectant fathers as dads makes them feel unappreciated and disrespected. With the rise in failing marriages we should be applauding and acknowledging the men who have committed themselves to marriage.

Lifestyle Change
The transition from being a husband to being a father is not an easy one for most men. After the baby is born, Dad is no longer his wife's main squeeze. With all the attention focused on the mom and baby, dads often feel left out and sometimes resentment toward the baby ensues too.

Loss of the bustling social life that included parties and activities they participated in such as golf, hunting, running, fishing and tennis can also be very difficult to deal with.

How to Hold and Calm a Crying Baby
Dads feel inept when it comes to the notion of having to care for a baby. One dad noted, "I'm afraid to hold my own child ... Nobody has taken the time to show me or teach me how or what to do when my baby cries."

Dads are also under the assumption that a mom knows more about caring for a baby. This is a false myth. A mother once told me, "Hogan, I hated the expectations people placed on me about how to care for my baby just because I was a woman. I had no idea what to do."

The increasing number of stay-at-home dads supports the conclusion that dads are just as capable of caring for a baby.

Moms' Unrealistic Expectations

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