quick clicks

dads today articles

dads today q&a

message boards

research baby names

prepare a birth plan

content channels

ip channel rss feeds

read birth stories

read parenting stories

recommended books

e-newsletters

safety recalls

ip diaries

ip store

mom of the month

dad of the month

editor's letter

letters to the editor

Dads Today Divorce Series Part Two

Daddy's House: When Fathers Are Awarded Full Custody of Their Children

By Carma Haley

"Regardless of reasons, the father has to present himself as a secure, solid person who should not overly burden his child with out-of-control emotions that he might have related to either the break up of the relationship or having custody of the child. If his behavior is inconsistent or unpredictable, if he is too emotionally upset, it is going to make it hard for the child who is looking to him for security and for reassurance to have a smooth adjustment."

A famous movie, Kramer vs. Kramer, offers a look into a father's plight of making a life for his child in the absence of the mother. Greg Hawkins of Worthington, Ohio says, "I didn't really think anything about the movie until it actually happened to me. My wife left. My two boys and I were alone. I was scared and didn't know what to do. So, for my boys, I continued to do what we always did. We went to the grocery store, did homework, took baths and read bedtime stories. It was hard for a while, but we managed. Now, the kids see their mom once a month for a few hours and they are learning to deal with us not being together."

Regardless of the circumstances surrounding a marriage, fathers have come to learn that they, too, can obtain full custody and offer a stable, secure life for their children. The numbers of fathers that want, request and are awarded full custody of their children after divorce increases yearly -- with no end in sight.

"I'm proud to be a father," says Hawkins. "When people ask me where the boys' mother is, I tell the truth, I have custody. I get all kinds of looks and comments but I always answer with the same thing, 'Why shouldn't I have custody? I am their father.'"