quick clicks

dads today articles

dads today q&a

message boards

research baby names

prepare a birth plan

content channels

ip channel rss feeds

read birth stories

read parenting stories

recommended books

e-newsletters

safety recalls

ip diaries

ip store

mom of the month

dad of the month

editor's letter

letters to the editor

Dads Today Divorce Series Part One

The Weekend Daddy

By Carma Haley

Non-custodial dads can often think that the time with their children is too little to create or keep a meaningful relationship. However, making the most of the time allotted and allowing children to talk about their feelings are both very important in the preservation of that father/child relationship.

Dillon, offering advice to non-custodial fathers, says, "It is important to keep a connection with even the most distant of daughters and sons. Resist the urge to write them off or drive a wedge between you and them and sink hopes for a future relationship. Even the best divorce is tough on children. Being patient with your children is also important. They have to find a level of comfort over the divorce. There is no set time table for this to occur."

Options are available for non-custodial fathers. With new techniques and plans for custody issues, the courts have developed "shared parenting" and "joint parenting" agreements in an attempt to equalize a child's time with both parents. This option can be discussed with an attorney, a court magistrate or even with the custodial parent.

The shared or joint custody plans may offer a non-custodial father the chance to increase his time and interaction with his children while allowing them to continue their relationship with the other parent. The important issues continue to be the children and the relationships that both parents have with them.

"I love my dad," says Hemmell. "No matter where he lives, with my mom or in his own house, he is still my dad. It's not about anything else but keeping my relationship with him. We have to let each other know how much we mean to each other and that we love each other. That's what is important. He divorced my mom, not me."