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Dine and Dash
10 Tips for Dining Out with Toddlers
By Mark Cloud
Eating out with toddlers can be difficult. They get excited and confused by all the new people, sights and sounds. And when they tire from such a stimulating environment, they tend to act out in inappropriate ways. But going to restaurants with toddlers does not have to be an unpleasant experience. There are things that parents can do to help their youngsters (and themselves!) enjoy a meal away from home. Here are 10 valuable tips for dining out with toddlers:
1. Before you go to the restaurant, have your toddler practice saying the phrase "nice woman" so he doesn't blurt out "big woman" when the waitress comes to take your order. She may not be big at all, but it makes no difference to your little social miscreant to whom everything and everyone is now big.
2. There are lots of kid-friendly restaurants that provide entertaining games, balloons, clowns and crayons. Never go to one of these places because all the noisy children there will absolutely ruin your meal.
3. Instead, go to the most expensive restaurant you can find. The classier the place, the less likely it is that any other boisterous children will be there to interfere with your meal. And the staff will be polite enough to pretend they don't notice when your little darling spits a mouthful of roast beef onto the table while cryptically complaining, "It's not working."
4. Remind your nice waitperson how funny it was in the movie Animal House when John Belushi spewed mashed potatoes out of his mouth and onto other people.
5. Bring a small container of some of your child's favorite foods – Cheerios, apple slices, cheese, etc. That way, when he's done throwing the restaurant food you had ordered for him off his plate, he'll have some familiar snacks to throw on the floor, too.
