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Pressure to Provide

Balancing the Responsibilities of Father and Husband

By Tamar Weiss

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Seth opts for the more physically active release of sports. Basketball is, to him, the ultimate release from care and responsibility. As Dr. Kipnis points out, "There is some indication that men are able to alleviate pressure by playing and competing (outside of the home) and then moving on."

When the Pressure Gets to Be Too Much
Of course, there are some men for whom the pressure to provide for a family becomes aggravated to the extent that "a change in their health and capacity to be engaged in the family" becomes apparent, says Dr. Kipnis. These men may exhibit a decline in function and health and withdrawal from affection or an increase in irritability, anger, depression, drinking and the like.

In such cases, men may be taking their roles too far. For if one of the purposes of a father and husband's role is to sustain his family, ultimately this type of behavior will destroy that same family. Before a situation deteriorates drastically, it is advisable for families to reconsider their standard of living and turn to resources, in addition to the father/husband, to provide for the family.

"Awareness (of the pressures men and women face) is not sufficient without an acceptance that changes demands," says Dr. Klinger. "A focus on the needs of children reveals that children need the balance of a mother and a father. Realizing this is the best starting point for mutual understanding."

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