quick clicks

dads today articles

dads today q&a

message boards

research baby names

prepare a birth plan

content channels

ip channel rss feeds

read birth stories

read parenting stories

recommended books

e-newsletters

safety recalls

ip diaries

ip store

mom of the month

dad of the month

editor's letter

letters to the editor

Pressure to Provide

Balancing the Responsibilities of Father and Husband

By Tamar Weiss

Foreman makes an effort to be home twice a week to put his kids to bed. For him, this truly is a work-related relinquishment, but his longing to be a good father and husband and to spend quality time with his family "will at times override work responsibilities," he says.

According to Dr. Ron Klinger, founder and president of the Center for Successful Fathering, for many involved dads, their identity includes "seeing themselves as role models for their children." For them, work is balanced against a child's need for a father. "The pressure is still there," he says. "But it is offset by valued priorities."

In striving to keep his family on sound financial ground, a man may even choose a job different from what his original career goals once were. Dr. Kipnis, also a professor of psychology, explains, "I often ask my students, 'What does your father do?' and then ask, 'What did he want to do?'" He explains that in an effort to serve the family, a man's career dreams so often remain dreams.

Seth, of Teaneck, N.J., wanted to be a doctor. "In order to support my family I needed an immediate salary, something I would not have had as a medical student and young doctor; so I chose business," he says. "I enjoy business, but I always wonder what it would have been like to be a doctor." Now that Seth is a family man, he says, "I gues my thinking has changed a lot along with my changing role as husband and father. Now I sometimes wonder if it would have been better to be a doctor because it is a more financially stable field than business."

Want to see more?

• The Changing Role of Fatherhood
• The Dads Place
• Father Time: Striking a Balance Between Work and Home