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Easing Tensions

Fathers Play a Major Role in Helping Stressed-out Moms-to-be

By Laura Paul

Ivan Farber of Portland, Ore., considers himself a high-strung "Type A" person. An entrepreneur who grew up on the East Coast, Ivan knew how important it was to create a stress-free environment for his wife, Wendy, during her pregnancy. They chose to have a relaxing water birth for their son, Samuel, who was born August 19, 2003.

Many couples argue more during a pregnancy, but studies show stress hormones can affect a baby's emotional wiring and lead to premature births and complications. A recent study conducted at Boston City Hospital and Boston University School of Medicine focused on Type A women with competitive lifestyles. They discovered these women are more likely to have babies who are intense.

Ivan and Wendy have made a commitment to discuss matters calmly instead of getting into heated arguments. "There are new situations that you have to have conversations about, and I would say the stress is on the woman's body," Farber says. "It's a huge change for a husband. Communication is how we handled it."

Since he works at home and his wife wanted to continue her career as an Internet securities professional, Farber was able to do more of the household chores. "I started doing the laundry, all the dishes, taking care of the house where I could," he says. "With swollen ankles and her back hurting, as the pregnancy evolved, she did not really have the energy when she got home that she once had."

Wendy worked up until the Friday before her due date. She appreciated the fact that her husband was supportive and listened to her while they went on long walks together. He also attended all of the prenatal appointments. "There were definitely times I'd get stressed out, mostly just the realization that you can't do all of the things that you were able to do before," she says. "I'd been working all along but at some point I could not even face the thought of making dinner."

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