quick clicks

dads today articles

dads today q&a

message boards

research baby names

prepare a birth plan

content channels

ip channel rss feeds

read birth stories

read parenting stories

recommended books

e-newsletters

safety recalls

ip diaries

ip store

mom of the month

dad of the month

editor's letter

letters to the editor

Pick Me Up!

Deciphering the Reasons Behind a Toddler or Preschooler's "Uppy" Requests

By Katherine Bontrager

(Mountainside Press, 2007). "They're not as independent creatures as they may seem at times. Holding is still important. Parents need to understand that they are feeding their child's self-esteem, confidence, trust and sociability by holding them when they ask for it."

Dr. Baum, a therapist, educator and parenting coach of more than 30 years, says that children usually ask to be held when they're in need of security. "The world is still a pretty foreign place to them, and that need for human connection, to feel secure, to feel safe is important to their development," she says.

And while being held when your little one feels insecure is important, Dr. Baum acknowledges that sometimes toddlers can be too heavy for constant holding. "If your child is too heavy for you, then tell your child you'd love to cuddle with him on the coach or in a comfy chair instead of holding him as you walk around the house," she says. "But give your child the cuddles he or she is asking for. You're nurturing your child and it's good for your child to get those needs for nurturing met. And feel good that your child feels safe enough to ask you for that support."

Dr. Baum also reminds parents how quickly time flies. "Also, remember, it goes really fast, this parenting thing," she says. "Before you know it you'll be fondly remembering the cuddly times and wishing your child wanted more cuddles."