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Postpartum Dad

Playing Problem Police

By Carma Haley

Mosby's Medical, Nursing and Allied Health Dictionary defines postpartum depression (PPD) as "an abnormal psychiatric condition that occurs after childbirth in 37 percent of all cases, lasting approximately three days to six weeks." In addition, Mosby's states that the severity of postpartum depression ranges from what is typically called "baby blues," where the mother experiences a wide range of emotions within a short period of time, to severe depression, in which the mother feels she cannot bond with her baby. Although PPD does not directly affect the father, the depression can often leave him feeling lost and helpless to help his partner.

"It was like she didn't feel she was a mother," says Carlton Stell, a father of four from Petersburg, Va. "After our daughter was born I thought that my wife would be overjoyed with emotion – like they show in the movies. But when she held her, she cried. I had no idea what to do. Did I make her hold the baby? Did I make her feed the baby? Or did I just do everything and hope that her 'motherly instincts' would take effect and things would be OK?"

Deutsch reports that fathers can help mothers overcome postpartum depression in its mild stages by showing support, encouragement and understanding without being pushy or forceful. "Postpartum depression is different for every woman who is affect by it," she says. "Fathers are probably going to know their partners very well and can use this to help the mother get through this hard time. The easiest way is to just be there – to listen. Don't talk, don't teach, don't try to tell her it will be all right – just listen and let her know that you understand and will be there for her. Encourage her to do what she can but nothing more as trying to 'make' Mom and Baby interact may only complicate the situation even more."

Want to see more?

• Postpartum Dad Part One: Helping with Labor, Delivery and Baby's Homecoming
• Postpartum Dad Part Two: Supporting Your Partner
• Postpartum Depression
• Kathy's Story: In her Own Words
• Preparing Your Child for the New Baby
• Preparing for Your Second Child
• Date Night: The Great Escape

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