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Listening Skills in Toddlers
6 Surprising Ways to Get Your Toddler to Listen
By Amy Henry
Dr. Wyckoff believes that what parents say to themselves about a conflict with their child determines how they feel about the situation and how they will ultimately act. "Anger comes from the belief we hold that children must do what we tell them when we tell them," he says. He advises parents to think, "I'd like her to do this" rather than "I must make her do this."
While bribery is not recommended by the experts, Dr. Wyckoff believes firmly in something he calls "Grandma's Rule." Bribery is about pleading. If you will only please, please do this, I'll give you a special treat. Grandma's Rule recognizes that parent and child each have their own agenda.
"It says to the child, 'In order to get what you want, you have to do something.' It's about the hard stuff first and then the fun," Dr. Wyckoff says. In real life, this approach calls for neither cigar chomping nor a tough stance. Just say, "I know you really want to go to the playground. We'll leave as soon as you get dressed."
Loading what the child wants on the front end makes the "hard stuff" easier to digest. Patience, as it turns out, is a huge virtue when dealing with toddlers.
"Just because they're not responsible at 2 doesn't mean they won't be forever," Nelsen says. Parents need to take a deep breath and remind themselves, this too shall pass.
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