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Listening Skills in Toddlers
6 Surprising Ways to Get Your Toddler to Listen
By Amy Henry
Toddlers and preschoolers respond well to "beat the clock." You say, "Let's see how many blocks we can pick up by the time I count to 10." Then, counting very slowly, dash around with your toddler picking up blocks. If counting to 10 doesn't quite cover the mess, play the game again, to "see if we can pick up more this time." Working with your toddler is one of the best ways to gain her cooperation, Dr. Wyckoff says.
Not that it's always easy to work with your little one. "Sometimes it's like international politics, where two parties get together to talk," says Gregor Macdonald, a father of two from Amherst, Mass., of his 3-year-old daughter. "Then they throw in the towel and drop the bomb."
Like Murphy, Macdonald has found that singing – especially making a song of his child's name – captures his daughter's attention. So does gently asking her to come sit on his lap. "She gets quite involved in her own projects. I have to change the habitual, do something to break her trance," he says. This works well – until it doesn't. "Sometimes she'll listen to me and nod her head like it's really going in, but then she says, 'I have to put my little princesses to bed.' When I tell her we have to stop working on that project, she says no, no, no and gets angry."
When your best efforts don't win your toddler's cooperation, you just have to pick them up and carry on, Nelsen says. Put them in the bath or in the car or leave the grocery store as planned. And just let them have their feelings.
When the timer's not an option, Sasha Wyckoff uses that most basic of human communication – touch – to get her son's attention. "I touch or hug and look into my 4-year-old's eyes, telling him with a quiet voice that it's time to clean up," she says. She continues to hold her son gently until he has told her he understands what needs to be done. "I have pretty cuddly kids, so by getting down on their level and giving them a hug, I guess it takes the sting out of having to end play," she says.
