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Postpartum Dad

Helping With Labor, Delivery and Baby's Homecoming

By Carma Haley

Garrett learned how to prepare bottles and change diapers at a birthing class before their son was born. "So, when she would get upset or frustrated, I helped," he says. "She tells me now that I was a big help to her. I'm glad that I could just help at all."

When Mom and Baby return home, life can suddenly become full of guests and chaos. This, coupled with the sleepless nights of a new baby, can often take a lot out of both parents. According to Deutsch, it is at this time that parents need to work together to ensure that both Mom and Baby make the needed adjustment.

"Labor and delivery – and breastfeeding as well – are exhausting physical experiences," Deutsch says. "Rest is very important and hard to come by with a new baby. I think one of the most important aspects of parenthood to share is night wakings and feedings. Fathers may have to sacrifice some sleep, just like mothers, but the sacrifice is well worth it. When Dad works with Mom – and they are a team – tasks become half as hard and the whole family can adjust very well."

Many new fathers may restrain from jumping in to help care for their baby, claiming that they do not know what to do or how to do it. While this is true, it should not prevent either parent from learning, trying and making mistakes while caring for and loving their baby.

"The most important thing to keep in mind is that the father is every bit as important to a baby as the mother," Deutsch says. "It is true that [fathers] can't breastfeed, but other than that, there is nothing that a mom can do with or for the baby that a dad can't. Don't worry if it feels awkward. It's awkward for a lot of moms, too! No one knows how to care for an infant without experience. Diapers are put on backwards; clothes are buttoned or snapped wrong; mistakes are made. We all have to learn."

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