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Engagement vs. Engorgement
The Expectant Father's Pop Quiz
By I. J. Schecter
Premature
a) A child delivered at 36 weeks or less or weighing 5.5 pounds or less.
b) The phase men are perpetually in.
Forceps
a) Instruments sometimes used to assist in a delivery.
b) The arm muscles you develop from carrying your baby around.
Letdown
a) The process of breast milk moving from the alveoli into the ducts.
b) What you feel the first time your daughter brings someone home.
Meconium
a) A baby's first bowel movements.
b) The only substance that can harm Superman.
Neonate
a) A newborn child.
b) An insult used by young boys. (As in, "Don't be such a neonate.")
Pap Smear
a) A medical inspection of the cervix and vagina.
b) An insult directed at your father.
Ultrasound
a) A technique used to project an image of a fetus.
b) More than extrasound but less than megasound.
Afterbirth
a) The placenta and related membranes that come out after the baby.
b) The word used to describe everything that happens to you after you've had children.
How did you do? Find out!Want to see more?
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