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Home › Articles › Dad's Health › House of Blues

House of Blues

Even Dads Get Depressed

By Teri Brown

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Dr. Pochyly believes this is part of the problem many couples face. "A father is more likely to feel involved in the raising of his child if he takes on an active role in the child's routine," he says. "While the father who tries to 'help out' is appreciated, the father who assumes the role of caregiver in a number of significant aspects of the child's day will feel more connected."

Getting Involved
Dr. Pochyly suggests that fathers try assuming the responsibility of giving the baby a bath each night or try to establish a morning routine of caring for the child before they leave for work. Establishing a before- or after-work routine provides some valuable one-on-one time with the child (while giving the spouse time on her own) and helps the father feel less like the raising of their child is something that is happening around him. A father is less likely to feel withdrawn or neglected if he is actively involved, Dr. Pochyly says.

In order for a father to take care of himself and his wife, he should get plenty of exercise, eat right and establish the best arrangement possible to maximize sleep while continuing to support his spouse. Also, it's essential to find time for adult activities both individually and as a couple and to keep in regular communication with each other regarding concerns, expectations and the extent to which one's own needs are being met.

Names have been changed to protect privacy.

Tips for Breaking out of the "Daddy Blues"
  • Become actively involved in your child's routine. Consider yourself a primary caregiver, not just a dad who "helps out" once in awhile.
  • Exercise regularly and try to get enough rest. (While hard to do with a new baby in the house, it is necessary.) Consider hiring a trusted babysitter and making jaunts to the gym a couple affair. In addition, a number of fitness centers have childcare facilities on site.
  • Set aside some regular time each week to spend some time with your spouse. Even if all you do is talk about the kids, spending time as a couple is invaluable and is a great investment in your child's future.
  • Cut yourself some slack. Becoming a loving, nurturing father takes time. It isn't going to happen all at once. Arm yourself with information. Enroll in a weekly parenting class or attend a one-day seminar. Read books about child development and learn how you can give your child an optimal start in life.
  • If feelings of anxiety, depression and jealousy linger, get some professional counseling for both your sake and your baby's. There is no shame in seeking help. In fact, it could be the first and best step in becoming the dad you want to be.


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